"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."-Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
This past semester ending marked my halfway mark through college. Hopefully, I will be graduating in December 2011, with a degree in journalism. Therefore, if all has been planned in the correct manner, I will be walking across the stage in two years. (I do know, however, that none of this is definite, and I could very well be graduating in May 2012, which I'm more than okay with.)
But, even though it's still two, or two and a half years away, finishing school is a scary, scary thing for me to think about. I have absolutely no idea what comes next after college. There have been so many options that I've thought about, and to this day I still don't know. Honestly, I'm okay with not knowing right now. Yes, I know I want to get married after college and yes, I know I want to continue my education in some fashion.
But even though all of those things are a couple years away, I have decisions to make now about this summer. For the past few years, I've traveled around the world (literally), and around the country (literally). I've spent weeks upon weeks in Appalachia Kentucky, the area of the country that holds the biggest piece of my heart. God has given me a passion for serving other people, and I truly love it.
And this is where my dilemma comes in, and this is why I've been praying for discernment, wisdom, and guidance for the past few weeks. I've not made plans to go anywhere this summer--no international missions trips, no stateside missions trips, no Big Creek staff. I don't even know where I'm going to live this summer or next year.
I went to the Passion Conference last Saturday with an expectant heart. I never told anyone what I was expecting from Passion, partially because no one really ever asked me. I went to Passion with the expectation that God would show Himself to me, draw me closer to Him, and give me a small glimpse of His plan for my life.
God exceeds my expectations...all the time. At the end of each night, I silently thanked God for continuing to give me a sense of peace and assurance. I've been praying about my future, and though there are barely any answers whatsoever about this summer or fall, God has continued to show Himself.
I know now that God has not called me to be a career missionary. Granted, I do believe that God calls everyone to be missionaries, but I do not believe He calls everyone to go overseas to spread the Gospel for the rest of their lives. I believe God calls His people to be missionaries in their workplaces, in their towns, and in their families. Some people just happen to be called to live in Ukraine or Rwanda or wherever for the rest of their lives.
And I know now that that person is not me.
Yes, I will continue to go on short-term mission trips for as long as God calls me and opens doors to do so. I can never say no to God if that's what He's instructing me to do. But at this point in my life, I honestly feel like that God has closed a door to my --i repeat my--idea of being a career missionary. I know now that God has other plans for my life. He's given me a passion for people, for journalism (read the previous blog), and for being a role model.
I know God has a plan for my life. And leaving Passion, I may not have left with all the answers I was asking God for. I still don't know what I'm doing this summer, or where I'm living this fall. I don't know where God is calling me after graduation--whether it's seminary, graduate school, or a job. I don't know when God wants me to get married (although I am giving God some hints for what timing I prefer...). But I went to Passion with expectations--to rekindle a romance with God, to receive peace and assurance for my future, and to find wisdom and discernment for my life. And God gave me all of that.
So I will continue to trust, and I will continue to learn and wait.
But, even though it's still two, or two and a half years away, finishing school is a scary, scary thing for me to think about. I have absolutely no idea what comes next after college. There have been so many options that I've thought about, and to this day I still don't know. Honestly, I'm okay with not knowing right now. Yes, I know I want to get married after college and yes, I know I want to continue my education in some fashion.
But even though all of those things are a couple years away, I have decisions to make now about this summer. For the past few years, I've traveled around the world (literally), and around the country (literally). I've spent weeks upon weeks in Appalachia Kentucky, the area of the country that holds the biggest piece of my heart. God has given me a passion for serving other people, and I truly love it.
And this is where my dilemma comes in, and this is why I've been praying for discernment, wisdom, and guidance for the past few weeks. I've not made plans to go anywhere this summer--no international missions trips, no stateside missions trips, no Big Creek staff. I don't even know where I'm going to live this summer or next year.
I went to the Passion Conference last Saturday with an expectant heart. I never told anyone what I was expecting from Passion, partially because no one really ever asked me. I went to Passion with the expectation that God would show Himself to me, draw me closer to Him, and give me a small glimpse of His plan for my life.
God exceeds my expectations...all the time. At the end of each night, I silently thanked God for continuing to give me a sense of peace and assurance. I've been praying about my future, and though there are barely any answers whatsoever about this summer or fall, God has continued to show Himself.
I know now that God has not called me to be a career missionary. Granted, I do believe that God calls everyone to be missionaries, but I do not believe He calls everyone to go overseas to spread the Gospel for the rest of their lives. I believe God calls His people to be missionaries in their workplaces, in their towns, and in their families. Some people just happen to be called to live in Ukraine or Rwanda or wherever for the rest of their lives.
And I know now that that person is not me.
Yes, I will continue to go on short-term mission trips for as long as God calls me and opens doors to do so. I can never say no to God if that's what He's instructing me to do. But at this point in my life, I honestly feel like that God has closed a door to my --i repeat my--idea of being a career missionary. I know now that God has other plans for my life. He's given me a passion for people, for journalism (read the previous blog), and for being a role model.
I know God has a plan for my life. And leaving Passion, I may not have left with all the answers I was asking God for. I still don't know what I'm doing this summer, or where I'm living this fall. I don't know where God is calling me after graduation--whether it's seminary, graduate school, or a job. I don't know when God wants me to get married (although I am giving God some hints for what timing I prefer...). But I went to Passion with expectations--to rekindle a romance with God, to receive peace and assurance for my future, and to find wisdom and discernment for my life. And God gave me all of that.
So I will continue to trust, and I will continue to learn and wait.
Keep Praying, Megan. God will make his direction clear for today. I still have not figured out what I'm going to do with my life. Just follow Him today, and He'll guide you . . .TODAY!
ReplyDeleteThis kind of makes me think of Beth Moore's talk about God's plan for our lives and God's will for our lives and how we need to keep them aligned with each other. Stay on that path, and He will show you.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, once you have that discernment, make sure you don't get caught up in the details. Speaking as one who has been called to missions, it's so easy to get caught up in the planning and details and finalizing that God's plans suddenly become your plans. I came to Passion to get refocused and realize exactly who called me to Massachusetts and whose work I'll be doing there. I came back with the focus that though this may be the scariest thing I've ever done, it's all for God's glory.
Ok, so this is a little long, but I'm a firm believer that as Christians, we need to see how God is working in other believer's lives. It's a testament to just how great our God is while also strengthening our own faith and our bonds with each other.
I love you, Megan, and may God bless you as you continue to seek His will.