Let me just first preface this blog by saying I do NOT know who the author is. A friend sent this to me over facebook a very long time ago, and I just happened to run across it today. I do not take any credit for this at all!
We were made to love and be loved. God is love (1 John 4:16), and beings made in His image need to experience love. Among the spiritual virtues found in the Bible, love stands preeminent. It is no wonder the devil has worked hard to distort its meaning. Today, the word love has been misconstrued in several ways.
A misconception is that love is a feeling. Love needs to stir up emotions of excitement, happiness, and passion. It must make me feel good. When we define love as an emotion, we inflate the accuracy of emotions. True, there are good feelings associated with love, but love also involves self-sacrifice and perseverance in difficulty. Love is a commitment to do what is right even if there is pain. Love defined as an emotion is not love at all.
True love begins with God. Only His love can fill the emptiness in our heart. The people we date and even marry can never meet our deepest needs. In 1 John 3:16 we read, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." God the Son valued us so much, He was willing to suffer and die on the cross so that we could have a meaningful relationship with Him. He loves us unconditionally, even though we can never repay Him. God's definition of love is a committed, sacrificial, and unconditional love. This is the kind of love that any solid friendship, dating, and marriage relationship must be built on. God's way of love is the key to a significant life and to meaningful relationships.
In order to love God's way, we must first experience God's love personally. Only when we know we are loved just for who we are, and we are secure in God's love, can we share that love with others.
2 Corinthians 6:14 states, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" It is possible for two Christians to be dating and still be unequally yoked. One person may be committed to the Lord while the other may be worldly. It is not enough to date someone who goes to church. We must see if the other person's life reflects a heart for God. That does not mean we cannot be friends with unbelievers. How else would we win them to Christ? However, we should not be in a dating relationship with non-Christians. Missionary dating, dating someone with hopes you will win them to Christ, is always an unwise practice for Christians. The person you want to date is someone who has shown himself or herself to be faithful and growing in the Lord.
The first priority in a Christian's life is to know his or her Master, Jesus Christ. Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." From this relationship, all of life falls into its proper place.
After knowing your Master, you need to discover the wonderful Mission He has for your life. Ephesians 2:10 states, "For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." Your future partner will compliment the mission God has called you to. I do not recommend they date anyone seriously until college--because in high school, they are often unclear on God's call in their life.
The best dating relationships come when two people who know God and know their mission, are walking down the same paths toward the same goal. Somewhere down the road their paths will connect. From that point, they march together on the same path. That meeting point will be determined by God at the best time.
They should make each other stronger in the Lord. They do this by encouraging the other to grow in the Lord, exhorting each other to become more like Jesus each time they are together. Positive constructive changes are produced in one another. A healthy relationship looks like a triangle. The man and woman stand at the bottom corners. At the top of the triangle is God. As each person moves closer to God, they move closer to each other. The focus of each individual is the Lord.
The question to ask about the person you are dating is, "Do I get closer to God as a result of being with this person?" or "Do I love Jesus more today because of our time together?" If you can answer yes, you have the makings of a healthy relationship.
Look at your relationships with your friends, your parents, your pastor, and older mentors. Are these relationships being strengthened or weakened as a result of your dating relationship? In a healthy relationship, these friendships are strengthened. In unhealthy dating relationships, the couple often isolate themselves from others.
One person cannot meet all your needs. There will come the time when you need other friends. Yet, unless you take the time to build other relationships now, later when you need the friendship of others, they may not be there. Often, one person in the relationship will try to dominate the time of the other. Because this person is insecure, they will be very possessive of the other. This leads to a relationship built on selfishness, distrust, and insecurity. Integrity, sincerity, and truth are the marks of a healthy relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship have nothing to hide from those who care about them. If you are in a healthy relationship, both of you will be growing in character and in the Lord, and your relationships with other people will be enhanced and strengthened.
Real love edifies. Two people in love seek the best for the other person. Their attitude toward the other is, "How can I help make you everything God ever intended you to be?" The two have found their fulfillment and security in Christ, and as a result, they can securely serve with the other's best interest in mind.
On the other hand, infatuation is selfish and driven by the desire to have your own needs met. "Infatuated love insists upon continual reassurance from the other person. It makes unreasonable demands that stem from possessiveness and insecurity. Charted on paper, it would range from high peaks of certainty to valleys of doubt.
Real love endures. Over time, real love grows and matures. Two people in love can wait for God's time, no matter how long it may be. In 1 Corinthians 13 the Bible states that love is patient and love always perseveres or is long suffering. True love will endure the tests of time and difficulty. Infatuation is marked by impulsive and emotional decision making. True love is willing to wait on God's time and allow the other person to grow and become the person God desires him or her to be.
God loves you and desires that your relationships be joyous and meaningful. He will not let you go wrong in the area of dating if you let Him be the Lord of every aspect of your life.
A misconception is that love is a feeling. Love needs to stir up emotions of excitement, happiness, and passion. It must make me feel good. When we define love as an emotion, we inflate the accuracy of emotions. True, there are good feelings associated with love, but love also involves self-sacrifice and perseverance in difficulty. Love is a commitment to do what is right even if there is pain. Love defined as an emotion is not love at all.
True love begins with God. Only His love can fill the emptiness in our heart. The people we date and even marry can never meet our deepest needs. In 1 John 3:16 we read, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." God the Son valued us so much, He was willing to suffer and die on the cross so that we could have a meaningful relationship with Him. He loves us unconditionally, even though we can never repay Him. God's definition of love is a committed, sacrificial, and unconditional love. This is the kind of love that any solid friendship, dating, and marriage relationship must be built on. God's way of love is the key to a significant life and to meaningful relationships.
In order to love God's way, we must first experience God's love personally. Only when we know we are loved just for who we are, and we are secure in God's love, can we share that love with others.
2 Corinthians 6:14 states, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" It is possible for two Christians to be dating and still be unequally yoked. One person may be committed to the Lord while the other may be worldly. It is not enough to date someone who goes to church. We must see if the other person's life reflects a heart for God. That does not mean we cannot be friends with unbelievers. How else would we win them to Christ? However, we should not be in a dating relationship with non-Christians. Missionary dating, dating someone with hopes you will win them to Christ, is always an unwise practice for Christians. The person you want to date is someone who has shown himself or herself to be faithful and growing in the Lord.
The first priority in a Christian's life is to know his or her Master, Jesus Christ. Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." From this relationship, all of life falls into its proper place.
After knowing your Master, you need to discover the wonderful Mission He has for your life. Ephesians 2:10 states, "For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." Your future partner will compliment the mission God has called you to. I do not recommend they date anyone seriously until college--because in high school, they are often unclear on God's call in their life.
The best dating relationships come when two people who know God and know their mission, are walking down the same paths toward the same goal. Somewhere down the road their paths will connect. From that point, they march together on the same path. That meeting point will be determined by God at the best time.
They should make each other stronger in the Lord. They do this by encouraging the other to grow in the Lord, exhorting each other to become more like Jesus each time they are together. Positive constructive changes are produced in one another. A healthy relationship looks like a triangle. The man and woman stand at the bottom corners. At the top of the triangle is God. As each person moves closer to God, they move closer to each other. The focus of each individual is the Lord.
The question to ask about the person you are dating is, "Do I get closer to God as a result of being with this person?" or "Do I love Jesus more today because of our time together?" If you can answer yes, you have the makings of a healthy relationship.
Look at your relationships with your friends, your parents, your pastor, and older mentors. Are these relationships being strengthened or weakened as a result of your dating relationship? In a healthy relationship, these friendships are strengthened. In unhealthy dating relationships, the couple often isolate themselves from others.
One person cannot meet all your needs. There will come the time when you need other friends. Yet, unless you take the time to build other relationships now, later when you need the friendship of others, they may not be there. Often, one person in the relationship will try to dominate the time of the other. Because this person is insecure, they will be very possessive of the other. This leads to a relationship built on selfishness, distrust, and insecurity. Integrity, sincerity, and truth are the marks of a healthy relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship have nothing to hide from those who care about them. If you are in a healthy relationship, both of you will be growing in character and in the Lord, and your relationships with other people will be enhanced and strengthened.
Real love edifies. Two people in love seek the best for the other person. Their attitude toward the other is, "How can I help make you everything God ever intended you to be?" The two have found their fulfillment and security in Christ, and as a result, they can securely serve with the other's best interest in mind.
On the other hand, infatuation is selfish and driven by the desire to have your own needs met. "Infatuated love insists upon continual reassurance from the other person. It makes unreasonable demands that stem from possessiveness and insecurity. Charted on paper, it would range from high peaks of certainty to valleys of doubt.
Real love endures. Over time, real love grows and matures. Two people in love can wait for God's time, no matter how long it may be. In 1 Corinthians 13 the Bible states that love is patient and love always perseveres or is long suffering. True love will endure the tests of time and difficulty. Infatuation is marked by impulsive and emotional decision making. True love is willing to wait on God's time and allow the other person to grow and become the person God desires him or her to be.
God loves you and desires that your relationships be joyous and meaningful. He will not let you go wrong in the area of dating if you let Him be the Lord of every aspect of your life.
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