Oh, What a Year!

As 2010 comes to an end, I'm reminded how thankful I should be that I am not in control of my own life. If the reins were in my hands, I'd probably be dead right now. Or in a ditch slowly dying. Or homeless. But I'm not- and I'm not in control of my life. I'm constantly reminded that God has a great plan for my life- yes, I'm responsible for my choices and the decisions I make. But God is in control! I'm consistently reminded of Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

It's the verse we've memorized since elementary school, or at least since our senior year of high school when we were freaking out about what college to go to and what to do with our lives. As common as it is, it still reminds me of God's faithfulness.

If you had asked me on December 26, 2009 what would happen in 2010, my answer would have probably gone something like this:

I will babysit...a lot. I'll probably search all year for a job and not find one, maybe fail a class, live in Smith again with Kourtney, keep dating Stephen, go on vacation, move home for the summer and save some money, look for some nanny jobs, and live somewhat happily ever after.

Let's just say that I wasn't too excited about the upcoming year. I was tired of the dorms, but I wasn't finding any luck on an apartment (or steady job). Stephen and I were having a few, albeit not serious, problems and I was struggling through that. I was losing confidence in finding a job. I had just made my first C in the fall of 2009. I wasn't sure when I was going to graduate. I had a crazy semester in the spring of 2010 and took 18 hours in the fall of 2010. Let's just say that on December 26, 2009 I was not expecting 2010 to be the best year yet.

But, that's why I'm glad I'm not in control. I'm grateful that God loves me enough to, well, strip away my ideas of what my life is going to be like. Despite my pride and arrogance, God loves me. Me. And only HE knows what my future holds for me.

No, 2010 was not the best year of my life. Ask me again in about 60 years when I'm dying, and we'll talk. I think I have a lot better years to come, if you ask me. Personally, I think 2012 is looking good right about now.

Now, on December 26, 2010 I'm glad I can say that what I expected in 2009 did not come true.

Yes, I had two of the hardest semesters of my life. But no, I didn't fail a class. In fact, I made the Dean's List one semester and maintained my cumulative 3.6 GPA.

Yes, I babysat...a lot. But I also found a job that I love and have been working at since May.

Yes, I continued to live with Kourtney in the spring of 2010 (and I miss her), but I finally moved into my own apartment in May (the day before I started my job) and love living there!

Yes, Stephen and I have had arguments just like every other couple. But we manage to work through every single one of them. I'm thankful for him and grateful that he's in my life. To stay.

Because he proposed. I said yes. And we're getting MARRIED! I know it's going to be hard, because dating is hard. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy but we love each other very much and cherish one another very much.

I didn't know when I was going to graduate. I thought it would be late, but instead I'm graduating in December of 2011. (So on December 26, 2011 I'll be reminiscing of my last year of college)

Anyways, I'm rambling. I've just been thinking these past few weeks about God's faithfulness and how foolish I am not to trust in His word every day of my life. I keep turning back to that verse of Scripture (among others) and the promises that God has assured to me.

I promise, this whole blog post would have been better if I actually thought it out first.